Amy's Oasis

Red roads

Leading to Somewhere doing Nothing

Or else to Nowhere doing Something

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I am in Anne's country - and enjoying it immensely.  I have tried in vain to post pictures with our very slow dial-up connection, and I am sorry to say you may not see pictures of us for a while . . . (go to Steve's blog if you want those).  I think that this is just what my family has needed.  We are living in a white renovated farmhouse which is very cute, both inside and out.  There are fields of red dirt all around us, and just across one is a very large tidal river.  We can go canoeing in it, swimming in it (although it has been too cold so far), walking beside it.  What I have enjoyed most so far, however, is just the peace and relaxed atmosphere.  People here leave their doors open and tell you to just walk in anytime, even when they are gone.  They invite you to everything, and you feel as if you have just entered one big family.

Some things I have learned from my family so far:

1)  To be engaged means to do battle with the enemy, according to the dictionary. 

2) You are not a true Islander until your bellybutton is stained red with the dirt and rocks of the Island. (Don't ask.)

3) Five girls are DEFINITELY louder than five boys. Definitely.

4) Karissa loves me "Way too much" and "Much more than you love me".

5)  The Princess and the Pea story can come true with marbles in tents.  (Again, don't ask.)

6) Biting sarcasm is indeed a way to show love.

7) Living is more important than thinking deeply about life.

8) You have to be mature when you are engaged.  At least, that is what you have to tell engaged people in order to get them to stop sassing you.  (This one doesn't work, by the way.)

9) Dirty looks are also a way to show love.

10) When a chair that was first broken and glued together by your fiancee breaks under you, that is a time to consider dieting.  (I wouldn't ask about this one either.)

That is just a few helpful hints that I thought I'd pass along - some family wisdom and experience. Hope you benefit.

Yeah.

This is Steve.

 . . . and everybody's reaction to him.

 . . . . All but me (who just happens to be a very patient person).  I said Yes!!  We are getting married and are so thankful for the gracious love of our precious Redeemer and Lord in all that He has done for us! 

(Comic provided by the very illustrious Benjamin S.)

A poem my family likes . . . probably because of the strongly - stated, opinionated opinions.  (That was a warning.)  :)

"The most important thing we've learned,

So far as children are concerned,

Is never, never, NEVER let 

Them near your television set -

Or better still, just don't install 

The idiotic thing at all.

Tn almost every house we've been,

We've watched them gaping at the screen.

They loll and slop and lounge about,

And stare until their eyes pop out.

(Last week in someone's place we saw

A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)

They sit and stare and stare and sit

Until they're hypnotised by it,

Until they're absolutely drunk

With all that shocking ghastly junk.

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,

They don't climb out the window sill,

They never fight or kick or punch,

They leave you free to cook the lunch 

And wash the dishes in the sink -

But did you ever stop to think,

To wonder just exactly what

This does to your beloved tot?

IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!

IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!

IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!

IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND

HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND

A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!

HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!

HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!

HE CANNOT THINK - HE ONLY SEES!

'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,

'But if we take the set away,

What shall we do to entertain

Our darling children? Please explain!'

We'll answer this by asking you,

'What used the darling ones to do?

'How used they keep themselves contented

Before this monster was invented?'

Have you forgotten? Don't you know?

We'll say it very loud and slow:

THEY . . . USED . . . TO  . . . READ! They'd READ and READ,

AND READ AND READ, and then proceed

To READ some more.  Great Scott! Gadzooks!

One half their lives was reading books!

The nursery shelves held books galore!

Books cluttered up the nursery floor!

And in the bedroom, by the bed,

More books were waiting to be read!

Wuch wondrous, fine, fantastic tales

Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales

And treasure isles, and distant shores

Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars

And pirates wearing purple pants,

And sailing ships and elephants,

And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,

Stirring away at something hot.

(It smells so good, what can it be!

Good gracious, it's Penelope."

The younger ones had Beatrix Potter

With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,

And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,

And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and - 

Just How The Camel God His Hump,

And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,

And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,

There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole -

Oh, books, what books they used to konw,

Those children living long ago!

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,

Go throw your TV set away,

And in its place you can install

A lovely bookshelf on the wall.

The fill the shelves with lots of books,

Ignoring all the dirty looks,

The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,

And children hitting you with sticks -

Fear not, because we promise you

That, in about a week or two

Of having nothing else to do,

They'll now begin to feel the need

Of having something good to read.

And once they start - oh boy, oh boy!

You watch the slowly growing joy

That fills their hearts.  They'll grow so keen

They'll wonder what they'd ever seen

In that ridiculous machine,

That nauseating, foul, unclean,

Repulsive television screen!

And later, each and every kid

Will love you more for what you did."

- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 

Do your floors never seem clean?  Do you find yourself constantly having to vacuum and sweep with a seeming never-ending  monotony?  Put an end to all the back-breaking work and get yourself a baby!  These handy little creatures delight in doing nothing less than making your life easier by crawling along the floor, scavenging for the tiny particles that frustrate your life.  Pretend not to see their wanderings, avert your eyes when you walk by, and all will be well. 

I feel like wearing a sign that says:

"Beware! I have a problem with left and right! Give me at least a 6 foot radius of space when passing."

I cannot count the number of times I have done the awkward dance with people - you know, the one where you go one way just as the other person moves the same way, and then you take a step to the other side just as the person takes the same move, and all this you try to do without actually touching or bumping into the other person. *sigh . . . sometimes I wish that I lived up to my name of "Miss Bird".

Although . . . the left and right problem doesn't go away in air traffic, does it . . .?

Maybe a siren? A loudspeaker? Bungee jumping?

Carol-Lee, I did this just for you. Enjoy . . . I have never done this before and probably never will again. :)

1. FIRST NAME? Amy

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No . . . I think my parents just liked the name and the meaning: "beloved".

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Ooh, that's a hard one. Does just having a tear in your eye count? Because yesterday I definitely felt a lot of emotion when a woman in the community group I lead shared her story and told us that her husband accepted Christ two weeks ago. If the angels in heaven were joyful, I think we must have been doubly so.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Wow, slightly random. I think ham wins.

5. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Um, no. I would stay as far away as possible. :)

6. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Totally!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? With certain people when I'm in a certain mood . . . that would be a yes . . .

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yup, but not my adenoids

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes! Who wants to go with me?

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I actually forget what it's called . . . but it's something involving bran flakes, oat and honey clusters, and raisins. :)

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No . . . let's just say it's part of my time management plan.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? In body? I think I'm fairly (averagely?) strong, yes. I also have an inward strength that is both annoying to some and beneficial at times.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? I love Chocolate Chip Mint

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? I think their eyes and their current emotions. Eyes and facial expression tell you a lot about a person. I also notice immediately and mostly subconsciously what they are wearing.

15. RED OR PINK? I love deep red . . . kinda like the color of this blog. :) Not that i have anything against pink.

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Wow, there's a lot. I miss probably a good chunk of the people who are reading this blog. I miss Steve, but he's coming to visit me in two days, so that's not so bad right now . . . and I miss my family a lot and my friends . . . hugs to all of you!

17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Funny you should ask. I have my bright baby pink pajama pants on (they're warm), and bare feet (those are not so warm).

18. THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Um . . . a mint from Susan.

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The warm air blowing into my room

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Purple

21. FAVORITE SMELL? Hot chocolate, food cooking (especially things involving tomato sauce), lilacs, warm kitten fur, babies, clementines, green growing things

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Geoff, last night, when he woke up in a panic wondering if I was safely home. Yes, we were in the same house. :)

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Carol-Lee? Absolutely!!!

24. FAVORITE DRINK? Hot chocolate

25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? I've never really watched sports that much . . . do synchronized diving and figure skating count? If not, probably hockey . . . especially if I'm watching with a bunch of cheering guys/cousins

26. HAIR COLOR? Brown

27. EYE COLOR? Blue

28. FAVORITE FOOD? Anything involving chocolate or tomato sauce I think . . . (seems to be becoming a theme here)

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Well, I like some plot, but come on, it needs to culminate in joy of some kind!

30. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Green t-shirt with pink p.j. sweatshirt overtop

31. SUMMER OR WINTER? Seasons in general . . . but I'd have to say summer. Bring on the blue sky and sunshine!

32. HUGS OR KISSES? As my experience has been limeted, I'd have to say that hugs are very, very nice.

33. FAVORITE DESSERT? Hmm . . . I'd have to say my mom's fruit salad is very good.

34. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Off the top of my head . . . The Bible, Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands, by Paul Tripp

35. FAVORITE SOUNDS? This may sound incredibly sappy . . . the sound of Steve's voice and my dad's, laughter, baby kittens, soft rain, music, birds, the crackle of a campfire

36. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Hmm . . . that's a hard one.

37. THE FARTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Mexico.

38. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In Orono.

never, never just pick a store at random when you are lost and want to buy more minutes for your cell phone. You may just end up in another cell phone store where you are made the laughing-stock of the entire staff as you ask for directions to their nearest competitor.

On the other hand, you've just provided those poor worn-down people inside with a speck of amusment for quite some time, as well as a story to exaggerate when at family functions and hanging out with their buddies. You know, the kind where you are telling "the-one-that-got-away" kind of stories or playing a game of "Whose job attracts the most stupid people". Puts a new dimension on sacrificial love.

So . . . who thinks my hair is dyed?

J. Hi Amy.... HEY?!?!!...

S. My turn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

J. N-O spells NO. and guess what that means?

S. Ummmm.......????......

J. yeah thats right... it means NO.

S. No way!!!!!!!! really????

J. Uh Huh. you'd better believe it. oh... delete. Now to get on with my letter. Have you...

S. YOUR lette...?!?!?!

J. I WAS HERE FIRST!!!!!!! GET LOST!!

S. HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's NOT true!!!!!

J. YES IT IS!!!!!!!!!!! NOW GET LOST BEFORE I CLOBBER YOU!?!?......

S. I WON'T GO!!!!

J. hehehe.... FINE... Bang...*^@# Smash... @!#%^$ Splat... &%^#!@ Poof... %&@!$

S. OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

J. Ha! Serves you right!

S. Sniffle... Snuff... Wheeze.... WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

J. Now, will you LEAVE!!!??

S. Nope, nope, nope......I'll just sit here and type...LAAAAAA.......la, la, la, la........

J. ok... THIS EMAIL DOES NOT GET SENT!!! AND THAT IS FINAL! We wouldn't want amy to think we are a bunch of dorks or something.... Would we?

S. That's what we are....aren't we????? ANYWAYS....to get on with some news...... Mom and Dad washed the cat today, and got a bath while they were at it!!! It was hilarious!!! They got soaking w??!!!!

J. STOP... i am shutting down the computer and you have to GO TO BED??!!!

S. anywayz....

J. HEY! STOP IT!!! GO TO BED Amy, if you get this email don't waste your time reading it...

S. Ha ha!!!! too late!!! you prolly already did!!!!! :-)

J. From Josh..?!?!?!

S. HEY!!! And Sharon

So, I am once again huddled up under my electric blanket like the little old lady I am after living in my coat all day at school and still shivering . . . but hey, it's all worth it - I saw snow today!! Huge, feathery, beautiful flakes - and so many that after walking outside my hair was wet! I kid you not - every window I came to on my way down to the library computer lab I had to stop and be mesmerized once again.

10 things you may not know about me . . .

1) I do not fear the dark, spiders, or any of those things people normally fear, but I am probably scared of you.

2) I have finally found the definition of "normal" that I have been looking for all my life. It is simply a cycle on the washing machine. If anyone can come up with a good definition of "strange" for me, I would be most grateful.

3) I have always wanted my own Lion . . . or rather, to be owned by a Lion and to ride on it's back. Ever since the Narnia books, I think . . .

4) According to some people, I am destined to have a brown wedding dress, a toilet car, earn a very little amount of money, and marry various unmentionable people. (You can ask Jacinda about this one . . . I'm pretty sure it was always set up.)

5) Climbing out of windows and climbing trees has always been a favorite pasttime with me, it seems - especially when it involves my sister Maria . . . or Chrissy . . .

6) I was, in fact, called "Miss bird" all summer long by my boss . . . ask me what my last name means. (Other explanations include that I "sing in more ways than one", that I "flit and float", all of which have various shades of meaning.)

7) I am fascinated with words. In every shape, form, sound.

8) A good life's lesson to learn: dancing and doing various other unmentionable things in the dead of night behind a Wendy's that just happens to have a window in the back door where the employees can be duly entertained unbeknownst to you . . . is most likely not a good idea. (Again, you can ask Jacinda or Maria about this one.)

9) Yes, I know it looks funny to pelt down a city street at full speed, and yes, I have done it. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do . . .

10) The most wonderful invention in my books: the printing press.

Ralph is his name. He is a mouse, a very small mouse to have such large ears. And a very smart one to escape Geoff's wrath. Geoff and the mouse are at war. Actually, let me rephrase that: Geoff is at war against a mouse.

Susan and I suggest that Geoff make friends with the mouse. We reminisce over Beatrix Potter and the Mouse on the Motorcycle and talk about cozy mouse homes in the wall. We try to persuade Geoff that by making your greatest enemy your friend, you will at least have won the battle for your sanity. Unfortunately, the male species speaks a different language.

At around 8:00 every night, the mouse makes his appearance. The first nibble, the first skittering noise across the kitchen floor and Geoff is zoned in, every muscle tensed, eyes intensely focused on the spot of the activity. Shoe in hand, he peeks into the kitchen and stands there, waiting. Then - the shoe goes flying across the room. The mouse stands up, looks Goeff in the eye, and meanders off under the stove. The words, "Hey man, nice try, but ya gotta work on that aim!" could not be louder if he spoke. Geoff sighs, puts a few more sticky pads in suspicious areas, resets a few traps, and goes back to the living room. Only to have the entire thing repeated in a few different ways over the evening. And to eyewitness the mouse calmly running over the pads and eating right beside the trap.

Unfortunately for the mouse, everyone loves Geoff more than Ralph. His pain often becomes our pain, and when Susan wakes up in the morning to find she has shared her loaves of bread with a dirty, germy little rodent, her pain also becomes his. So . . . often we get dragged into this battle as well. Ask me for the story of how I almost outsmarted the mouse another time. Yes . . . almost. If Geoff hadn't come home at the time he did, that mouse would have been a prisoner under a paint tray. As I said, a story for another day.

So, let me ask you: how do you catch a mouse who thinks sticky pads are dance floors and traps are jokes of the past?