I know I should be writing a paper right now, but I just had to share my incredible, ecstatic excitement. I was excited yesterday, too (which partly accounts for the wild and totally immature post), but I feel like God just keeps piling blessing upon blessing on my life, and It's almost too much to handle!
Reason #1: I just read Ephesians all the way through. It never hit me so hard as today how much joy is contained in those words! " . . . blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as HE CHOSE US in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love . . . For He himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation . . . Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God . . .Walk worthy of the calling with which you were called . .He who descended is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things . . .be renewed in the Spirit of your mind . . . For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light . . . Put on the whole armor of God . . . praying always . . . Peace to the brethren, and love with faith, from God the father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. Amen."
Okay, so after all that, this pales in comparison, but is still making me incredibly happy:
Reason #2: All these people are coming to visit me!!!!!! First of all, Steve is coming up in a week from today and staying for Thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for! And, in November there is a conference at my school, which more and more people keep telling me they may want to come to! I can't wait to see my dear friend Jacinda again, and talk about all the things God is doing in our lives, not to mention my cousin Chrissy who totally made my day today by telling me that she is signing up as well! There are also a few other people coming as well, and who knows who else the Lord might bring Philly's way! I can't wait to have all these wonderful people share in the exciting things that I am learning and growing in.
So, anyone else want to overflow my cup still more by signing up? Free room and food (for those of you staying at my house, at least!), being able to carpool together, as well as a wonderful time of growth in the Lord and learning- who could refuse? :)
Can't wait to see you guys!
So, I know that before I left I was threatening to dye my hair and get a tatoo and piercings and everything while I was here (which some of you were encouraging) . . . but it hasn't taken long to realize that I would need to be on some serious Prozac and personality-changing classes to do that. (Although . . . you never know . . . :P) So, rather than dissapoint you completely, I attempted to french-manicure my nails and randomly stepped into a hairdresser's in center city and got my hair cut. Oh, and my toenails are also painted- *gasp* all fingers and toes painted at once! So, I know some of you are very dissapointed in me, but I knew I had to find a happy medium somewhere in order not to completely let you all down!
The place that I got my hair cut was actually really nice- just me and the hairdresser and Sebastian (the little white poodle) in this softly lighted, nicely decorated room. I very quickly found out that the hairdresser was a Christian when I started talking about church and how the people I lived with were Christians! She was very nice and obviously worried about me being all alone in Philly, and she gave me lots of good tips. (I may be able to write a street-smart manual on all the advice everyone is giving me down here. Did you know that when you walk down a street you should always walk on the side that has the least cars parked on it, and if you walk at night you should actually choose the middle of the street, rather than walk on the sidewalk? Neither did I. Good common sense. My question is, what do you do if a car comes? Sprout wings, or walk between those scary cars??)
Oh, and by the way, if you have fingers and nails shaped like mine, doing french manicures on yourself just makes you laugh. The feet on the other hand- people just laugh at mine no matter what I do, so I can just do whatever I want to them. :)
My poor daddy is doing a cloakium doctum (exam) today. I know that he will pass with flying colors, though- he's answered lots of our questions over the years, hasn't he? And let me tell you, he's been asked some hard ones. Not only that, but he has lots of people praying for him, and the strength of God with him. So, I guess that means that Living Water Reformed Church will soon be a URC! That is exciting and a little sad all at the same time. I miss our church . . . and am a little sad that I can't be there through the changes. My family is also going on a trip to Vermont- minus me. Life keeps moving on without me in Ontario. Just like mine keeps moving. I promise that I won't change too much- except to grow in stature with God and maybe get a haircut . . . that is, if you guys don't change too much.
"Let Us make man in Our Image . . ."
We are called to holiness, not just becuase we ourselves must be pure, but because we are called to mirror the one who is perfectly holy.
We are called to love others, not simply because they need it, but because in doing so, we mirror the one who has perfect, sacrificial love.
We are called to defend the helpless, not simply because we are sparing others pain, but becuase in doing so, we mirror the one who values his creation.
Doesn't it give you a whole new perspective to just go back to the beginning, to our roots, and look at our history through that lens? When I do so, I realize that my passionate desire to help people did initially start with a deep-seated desire to serve God, but how quickly did my focus shift to the people? How quickly did I want to make their problems my own, to get into their lives and help them change?
I have always known that I would have a problem with that in counseling- that soon I would own their problems myself and become hurt in the process. I did not know how to avoid that, since I thought it was part of compassion. But God is opening my eyes more and more to that fact that my life is not about the people- it is about glorifying Him- bearing His image! That is so freeing and comforting. Even if none of the people I may ever counsel in the future display change in their lives, I will not have failed. In bringing God's truth to them, I will have been a vessel for carrying the living water. I will have reflected my creator. And in doing that, I will have glorified God and fulfilled my purpose in life. Okay, so I won't do it perfectly. But really, if my emotional dependance is on God, it will be Him speaking through me anyway.
So . . . anyone want help? ;)
"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.'
Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night . . .
Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways . . .
Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high,
because he has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation."
I love Americans. They are so much like Canadians- their dependance upon coffee, their self-absorbed sense of independance, their love of entertainment- but somehow, I feel, they are more . . . clueless. I'm sure that those of you who are Canadian have at least a general idea of how the States are set up, the government, the big events, the capitol. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but the knowledge does not go both ways. I actually feel sorry for a lot of the people I talk to, because I know they walk away from conversations thinking, "Wow, I really made a fool of myself on that one." Seeing the range of questions I have been asked, I am almost tempted to carry around a stack of letters around to hand out to everyone I meet that go something like this:
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen of America,
You have all been asking about my weird accent, why you have heard an occasional "eh" coming from my lips, why I say "out" instead of "aout". May I make the big announcement? Yes, I am from Canada.
No, Canada is not just a blob above you on the map, up there with the north pole and Santa Claus. It is, in fact, a country that has things called 'provinces' instead of states; a 'prime minister' instead of a president' and rusty sea king helicopters instead of war planes. And yes, I'm sorry to offend you, but my country is important to me, and I am not eager to join the United States.
Don't worry, I am not underprivileged. Just because I have never seen an episode of 24 doesn't mean that we don't have the very same show where I come from. We play the very same music in our superstores. And yes, we do have Starbucks, Wendy's, and Summer. And although I know the name sounds absolutely hilarious to you, we have something better than Starbucks- Tim Hortons. So there.
Can I make a closing suggestion? Before you ask me where in Canada my family lives, you may want to get used to the word "Ontario" so that I do not have to say "close to the southern border" or something equally ridiculous. Thank-you!
Sincerely,
Amy Vogel, Canadian [who loves Americans anyways]
P.S. Yes, we do have thanksgiving, even though the Mayflower did not land in Canada. I hate to have to be the one to remind you of this horrible fact, but we all used to be one dominion, you know.
Don't worry, I definitely do not feel this sarcastic in real life. But after answering a few hundred crazy questions, it does start to make you wonder.
. . .there was a big apple tree. She was very beautiful and grew many delicious apples. The tree deeply loved a little boy, who often came to visit her. The tree let the little boy climb her sturdy trunk and swing in her branches. She shaded him as he slept beneath her, listened to him when he needed to talk, played with him when he felt like playing. She fed him with her luscious apples. The tree was very happy.
As time went on, the boy came to see her less and less. Finally he stopped coming altogether.
One day, the boy came back. The tree was very happy to see him and said joyfully, "Come! Come and play in my branches! Come and climb my trunk and eat my beautiful apples! Come and talk and-" But the boy said, "I am too old to play now. I need money. Being an adult is expensive." The tree was sad to hear this, but said graciously, "Pick all my apples and sell them at the market. Then you will have the money to buy many things." So that is what the boy did.
Years passed. Finally, the boy came once again to see the tree. The tree was very happy to see him and said gently, "Come! Come and play in my branches! Come and climb my trunk and eat my beautiful apples-" But the boy said, "I do not play anymore. I want to get married, but I do not have a house to live in." The apple tree said kindly, "Cut off all my branches. Then you will have all the wood you need to build a good house." So that is what the boy did.
Many more years passed. The boy came to see the tree again. The tree was very happy to see him and said quietly, "Come! Come and climb my trunk! I no longer have branches for you to climb, or apples for you to eat, but-" But the boy said, "I am too stiff to climb trunks now. I just want to build a boat and sail away from the sadness in my life. I need a holiday." So the apple tree said, "Cut down my trunk. That will give you the wood you need to build a boat." That is what the boy did.
The tree was now a stump, but sat contentedly in the forest, until, a few years later, the boy came once again to visit her. He walked very slowly. The tree was very happy to see him and wispered, "I no longer have branches for you to swing in, or apples for you to eat, or even a trunk for you to climb-" But the boy said wearily, "I no longer have teeth to eat apples with. My limbs are very stiff. I am very, very tired, and only need a place to rest." The tree said happily,"A stump is the perfect place to rest." So that is what the boy did.
When you think you have given all you can- think again.
There are so many people out there struggling with the existence of an actual God, a real heaven, a literal hell. They hate the idea of God, because an all-powerful being suggests someone who is greater than the self, someone who they will ultimately be accountable to. Think about it- why is it that people get the most upset when you talk about your faith in God?
I remember conversations I had in public high school vividly- especially the ones in my sociology class. The guy sitting in the desk ahead of me was a complete, self-confessed egnostic- almost an athiest. He sometimes got so upset with me over my convictions. He didn't just brush off the obvious fact that I was stupid- he got angry. Why?
One time we were discussing the existence of God. I was forced to speak to him very bluntly and said something like this: "You know, I cannot prove the existence of God to you, just as I can't prove that you yourself exist. But I believe in Him because I have seen the things he has done and because of what He means to me. If God is real, and I have taken the risk and believed in Him my entire life, I will not only be a very fulfilled person in this life, but I will gain everything when I die. If you are right and there is no God, I will have lost nothing. I will simply go to sleep and never wake up again- and I still will have had a more fulfilling life, because I will have lived for something greater than myself. If God isn't real, if there is nothing out there that is greater than myself, why don't we all just die now and not have any more suffering on earth?" He looked me in the eye and said, "Wait a minute- you believe that your life doesn't have meaning without God?" I just smiled at him and said, "Yes, I do believe that." He laughed in my face. I was a loser for being so dependant on a "myth". I was a loser because I didn't think of myself as a "good" person. I was a loser becuase I had low self-esteem and self-confidence levels and I was crippling myself.
C.S. Lewis said: "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world . . . If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage." "All your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness. The day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it, or else, that it was within your reach and you have lost it forever."
All I can say is, if I can experience this level of fulfillment on earth, I cannot imagine the depths of fulfillment that are waiting for us in heaven! That is something worth both dying and living for.
I miss . . .
I miss my family, my friends. I miss big open spaces, jogs in the golf courses with just me and the stars and the soft grass under my feet. I miss being able to be alone outside at night. I miss my little brother and sister coming out to meet me with cries of "Mamy's home!!" and their little hugs. I miss our church. I miss the feeling of knowing someone so well, you are able to read their thoughts. I miss Heather V.O.'s laugh and talks with Naomi and eye contact with Hammy, and a million different things about every single person in the youth group. I miss playing the piano. A lot. I miss the kids I babysit. I miss talks with people at work. I miss the sight of a truly beautiful bunch of flowers. I miss the sound of the country- with no gunshots, sirens, screams, or constant roar of traffic marring the silence. I miss petting cats. I miss sharing a room with my sister . . . in a way. I miss the shoes and clothes I forgot at home.
And yet-
I love . . .
I love new experiences, new challenges. I love my new family. I love experiencing city life, exploring. I love seeing new kinds of people- am fascinated by the accents and expressions all around me. I love being able to experience a different church, and fellowship with different believers. I love the things that God is teaching me. I love my classes, my teachers, my assignments. I love the feeling of being exactly where God wants me to be. I love feeling secure, even at night in a train station with creepy guys and a busy street (and pepper spray! :P) for company. I love trying out new foods. I love making new friends. I love seeing the incredible hand of God in my life. I love the fact that my room is neat! :P I love the feeling of really good talks on the phone and e-mails. I love being able to have really good, spiritual discussions. I love learning to counsel people. I love seeing people's jaws drop when I tell them about myself. I love not having a busy schedule. I love my new little African-American friend next door- Tyrell.
I love the fact that God is the same- yesterday, today, and forever.
