Amy's Oasis

Today I took two of my little sisters shopping. Wow, fun times! Every stop we would make they would sneak something else into the cart- just to see if I would notice. Once I turned around from picking out the granola bars Mom needed, only to see stacks of candy in the cart. Another time I returned from looking for baby wipes to see that my kind sisters were generously donating all the cute baby undershirts my future kids would ever need! Wow, amazing to have such considerate sisters. Especially when they seem to be walking calmly and happily beside you . . . and you find out that they are walking away in pairs of spike heels! We had a ton of fun- especially running and sliding down all those cool isles that the new Wal-Mart grocery section has! Maturity? What is that?

Why does it often take impending separation to make us realize what we will be missing? I know that much of my life I have spent being my own independent individual. Often that has separated me from the ones that I love most. I can only pray that my siblings learn from my example, rather than following it . . . excepting the running and sliding, of course. Who would want to cheat them out of that experience?

Why is it that it is at the times of the most bitter soul-agonizing that we find the most joy? Time and time again God has to bring me to tears on my knees in order to make me feel my dependance on Him. And He enjoys doing it. He delights in making me feel my need of Him so that we can again have closeness. Oh life . . . so complicated and yet so simple, if you think about it.

I got the day off today and did some serious things for Philly. Banking, Dentist, packing, shopping . . . you name it, I did it. I even got my syllabus and course outlines and reading lists off the internet. And organizing my room . . . wow, talk about Pandora's box. I never knew so much old junk could be stored in such a little space. I thought my pack rat habits were conquered. Maybe they were, but new spring cleaning habits would have come in handy! You can barely walk in my room right now and I am left in a daze, juggling old duct tape purses and wall hanging creations that have so many memories attached to them, but unfortunately no value. So, to my siblings' delight and my poor mother's chagrin, the kids are "inheriting" a lot of stuff right now . . .

It is incredible just how much I have seen God's hand in my life lately. In just every way, I sense God's blessing on the decisions I am making, as hard as some of them have been to make. Even the fact that I am going to Christian Couselling Educational Foundation without having to go through school for my social sciences is amazing. . . as well as the way in which God provided for my accomodations and needs. As thrilling as that is, however, I find the little things even more amazing. Like today, for instance . . . He made my banking and dentist appointments perfectly coincide, and also provided for me amazingly when I went shopping! I think that I am now done shopping. And . . . yesterday we got off early, so that gave Janelle (someone at work) just enough time to cut my hair! So that's done too! And at the same time as all this God has made me go through some major emotional issues so now my pride is conquered for the moment as well, and I am attempting to trust Him again! All that in one day. Praise the Lord!

Now I just need to prepare myself emotionally to leave.

God is my comfort and my guide at all times.